Never Has Crow Tasted So Sweet

I know I did the unthinkable disparaging my beloved Tarheels, but actually after reviewing what I wrote after the Sweet 16 I still agree with my synopsis. Here is what changed:



Reason 1: Hansbrough & the Softies never had to encounter any strong front lines. True, they had to play Oklahoma and watch Hansbrough get tossed around like Paulus at an NBA tryout, but OU had nobody else that could start in the ACC on its front line to complement the Naismith Player of the Year. Much like Hansbrough, Griffin's brother is a stiff and I honestly couldn't tell you else starts for their front line. Deion Thompson was wretched until the Championship game and just in time, Ed Davis grew up to become a factor and give Carolina fans a reason to look forward to next season. He has a chance to be something special.



In addition, how lucky was Carolina to get the draw that they did & then get the good fortune of Memphis getting blown out by Mizzou and an overachieving Michigan State team take down the other two #1 seeds?



Reason 2: Danny Green bottled the confidence from the shot versus LSU and morphed back into the all-around player that saved the Tarheels season back in the early ACC Conference. He didn't shoot it quite as well, but he became a threat again from the outside and started doing the little things - coming off the weak side to block shots, saving balls going out of bounds by re-establishing himself in the court, etc. - the little things that offset some of his absolute stupid fouls that get him in senseless foul trouble. Fortunately, we're 8-9 men deep so we can hide the young man's intelligence & decision-making which sometimes resembles his old man who resides in the pokey.



Reason 3: The Toe either sucked it up & played in pain like nobody's business or it really wasnt' that big a deal. After watching what he did the last two weeks, the "injury" was fairly minor in the grand scheme of things which segues to something I thought I would never say....



Reason 4: Roy evolved into a coach this post-season. Now granted he didn't have to draw up any late game-saving plays thanks to double-digit leads throughout the entire tournament, but here is what he DID do.



First, against Oklahoma he doubled down on the post for the first time I can remember in my 20+ years watching Carolina basketball. Griffin was a beast, but he couldn't beat us alone. Capel (now who did he play for?) just flat out got outclassed & outcoached.



Second, one of Roy's assistants must have informed him that he has timeouts that you can actually use before the 38 minute mark. When 'Nova started gathering momentum & whittled a 15-pt lead to 9 with just over 2 minutes to go in the first half, Roy stopped it cold. He called a brilliant play out of the timeout to get Hansbrough a layup to stop the run. Granted 'Nova got the 2 back before the end of the half, but he stopped the momentum which is what good coaches do.



Third, the decision to sit Lawson in the ACC Tourney. It was bold, a bit arrogant, but in his own words "Doggone it" - I applaud him for trying to win the whole damn thing. Not many people are thinking about the lost ACC Tournament Championship today are they K-Rat & the Dorks?



Fourth, don't tell me this team didn't sandbag it on D after the first 15 games, then turn it back on starting in the 2nd half versus LSU. This team knew they had the most talent and they kept the foot



Last, Roy finally figured it out...the best players on this team were not his front line players and the offense should not run through Tyler Hansbrough. Ty Lawson was the straw that stirred this drink and guards rule college basketball...don't believe me? All 4 starting point guards in the Final 4 show just how guards are in the college game. Instead of pounding the ball to the low post, the offense started to flow at the top with the guards with Green, Ellington & Lawson. Green didn't have to be spectacular because Wayne Ellington & Lawson were next to unstoppable. With a pair of big men in Hansbrough & Thompson that can shoot effectively from 8-12 feet, the low post game wasn't necessary and they could do what they're best at - crash the boards. No more Hansbull in the China Shop...and man am I glad because watching him try to get his shot off in the post is like watching Dexter Manley trying to read War & Peace.

So kudos to Roy and the boys on a great season and shaking off some tags that have hounded the program for a long, long time...why not more titles with all that talent, too soft, don't play defense, etc. Now comes the tough part though because now your spoiled-rotten fanbase expects it. Good luck.

The Not So Final 4 Reasons to Hang the Banner

So the first two posts were easy pickins'. Seriously, how hard is it to toss stones through the glass house that Coach K has built? Fortunately for him, Texas can't shoot free throws or that private school pinata would be getting whacked senseless right about now.

It's time though to do something that 90% of Tarheel fans do not do and that is objectively look at what lies ahead of this year's edition of UNC basketball. You might not like to hear it, but this team is going to come up short. I hope I am wrong, but here is why:

REASON 1: Tyler Hansbrough & The Softies - What???? Mr. All-American? Mr. Hustle? Mr. So What if I Look Like Beaker from the Muppets? Mr. Eyes & Mouth Wide Open with Contacts Popping Out Every Time Down the Court? Yes, Tyler Hansbrough, as well as his front court mates, are the main reason that UNC will not win the National Championship in 2009. Carolina should handle the Zags fairly easily just on pure athleticism, but a matchup against Villanova in the Final 4 or the likes of Memphis, Louisville or UConn on the other side of the bracket spells doom for Hansbrough and the soft big men Thompson & Davis. Hansbrough will struggle mightily against the big, athletic players he will face and those garbage buckets will be hard to come by. You saw it yesterday versus LSU when the Heels were dominated on the glass for the first 30 minutes before Ed Davis decided he wasn't a thin, wiry freshman. Unfortunately, LSU is the best team from a mediocre Southeast Conference. The four other teams the Heels will undoubtedly collide with at some point are more athletic, more physical and spell trouble for Mr. Hansbrough.

Dare I utter the phrase "Go Duke?" just so I can buy another Final 4 appearance. Plus, do you really want to hear Jim Nantz manlove on the guy anymore? I have to wave the mercy hankie. Thanks for the good times Tyler and hope you can make millions posting 11pts & 10 boards again for a middle of the pack NBA team.

REASON 2: Danny Green - Holy cow...someone bring back the player that the Heels rode through the early ACC Conference season. This guy put us on his back & carried us after the 0-2 start, but perhaps it completely broke his back. The last two weeks of watching Danny Green have reminded us of how careless he was with the basketball as a freshman and how bad he can be. Maybe the late 3 (after an amazing hustle play by Wayne Ellington) versus LSU pulls him out of his funk. Otherwise, he looks like the most likely candidate to assume the Final 4 choke throne that Shammond Williams & Rick Fox have passed on from generation to generation with embarrassing efforts from the perimeter on the big stage.

REASON 3: The Toe - I usually don't hide behind the injury bug, but just how good has Ty Lawson been over the last half of the ACC season. Ever since being embarrassed by Jeff Teague at Wake, Lawson appears to be on a mission. I'm sure it hurts like the devil, but assuming he plays and they get by Gonzaga, will he be able to bounce back in just two days again the Oklahoma-Syracuse winner? Tough call. Will be rooting for the Sooners though b/c a matchup zone & a hot team in 'Cuse may prove fatal.

REASON 4: Roy - Personally, I do like Roy Williams the person. I like the way he downplays things, the aw shucks act, etc...but his ability to draw up plays in tight games is downright mediocre. I can tell you right now, if they are down 1 or 2pts that Wayne Ellington is going to rub off two defenders and miss a long, offbalance 3-pt jumper. Pssst...Roy, you're down a basket, not 3 pts. It's maddening...seen the act one too many times & it will rear its ugly head when we get into a grind it out game versus the likes of a Villanova or Uconn.

This also ties back into Reason 1...you can't go to Hansbrough for an important bucket with the game on the line because you don't get foul calls late in a tight game & he can't get his own shot off in the post against a bigger man. This will spell heartbreak for Carolina when push comes to shove.

Again, I hope I miss the mark worse than a center graduating from Wojo's Big Man Camp...but the brackets & matchups will have to fall just right on the road to the Championship. Final 4? Great chance. Hanging another banner in Chapel Hill? I'm afraid it's just another 30-win team coming up short of expectations.

Status Updates

I'm sure many of you recently read about the now ex-Philadelphia Eagles staff member that was fired over his overzealous Facebook Status Update - yes, the one that misspelled both 'damn' and 'retarded' in a 4-word phrase/sentence. For those of you that missed it, that would be "Dam Eagles R Retarted"in reference to the release of long-time Eagle great Brian Dawkins being set free on the open market to the Denver Bronocos.

.....Okie Doakie then Dan.

I'm sure he really didn't mean any harm, but for folks that don't understand why he got fired & actually think he should file suit versus the Eagles organization...well...you're probably just as incompetent. Let's face it folks - I don't necessarily agree with it, but would you post that on a Facebook Status Update for your employer (as well as anyone else) to read on a social networking site? Thanks for playing, but you probably wouldn't when push came to shove.

However, one man's trash is another man's treasure and while Facebook and passion for sports led to Dan Leone's demise, I see it as a wonderful opportunity to combine too of my favorite leisure diversions to entertain the masses.

With that I will now borrow some real estate in the minds of today's newsmakers in sports and let you know what their Facebook Status updates look like this evening of March 10th:

Greg Zoubek: Greg would like to know when I can stop icing this thing

Greg Paulus: Greg would like to know when I can stop icing Greg's thing

Mike Krzyzewski: Mike needs to stop shooting ads and start recruiting Division I talent again at the other 3 starting positions

Y.E. Yang: Y.E. won a PGA tour event and I bet you my prize money you don't know what either the Y or the E stand for

Mike Helton: Mike knows that cars wandering aimlessly in circles is no longer gettin'er done

Terrell Owens: Terrell is going to be one cold, windburned mother****** in about 6 months

Shawn May: Shawn hopes his boss didn't see him looking like a fat nancy with a glittery teeshirt on behind the Tarheels bench at the UNC-Duke game

Roy Williams: Roy is screwed if he has to put the ball in Larry Drew II's hands for more than :90 a game

Pat Summitt: Pat is a man baby!

Jim Calhoun: Jim is tired of Pitt and is about to relax in his big bathtub of money

Dear Duke...

Dear Duke,

Despite the fact that you are a great college basketball program that deserves respect for your achievements over the last 20 years, I must admit that you have a few flaws that I don't particularly care for:

1) Cameron Crazies - You are not crazy. You are not funny. You are mostly dorks. I do know 2 or 3 people that went to Duke that are actually nice & funny people - I seriously doubt they were "Crazies" when they attended your fine university. You do coordinated chants that are passed out on sheets the weeks before games. This is very high school and sophomoric. Remember, you ARE actually smart people or otherwise you wouldn't be at Duke. You bounce up & down instead of actually watching and understanding the game. You bodysurf people. Did I mention you are in college now? And yes, last but not least, you do not impact the game versus legitimate competition as is evidenced by the last 4 times we have walked into your building & handed your ass to your beloved Blue Devils. Shake it off, there's always next year.

2) Coach K - Obviously a Hall of Famer and even though I am a Tarheel through & through, I can be objective - not something all of my Tarheel brethren can boast of - and I think that Coach K will go down as the greater of the two coaches when it is all said & done. Enough niceties though...let's talk about why I think you are the second coming of Hitler. You are classless and enjoy a backhand compliment to your opponents as much as you enjoy saying "It's about the kids" after every season that you come up ridiculously short of the 18-1 starts you get off to before you enter ACC play. You're a sellout. AMEX & Chrysler ads? Dean may have been approached by Marlboro, but he would have never taken them up on it...amazing that you use it as a recruiting tool though & the play of those ads increases exponentially during tournament time. You're kind of like the reverse of Dean Smith. You won your National Titles early and I'm not convinced you'll ever win another one...particularly with the way you whine about how hard you work on USA Basketball, the back pain, what you did to Pete Gaudet, your f-bomb dropping spouse who is not so fine, not so fine, she doesn't blow my mind, Hey Mickie and the fact that your coaching tree looks strikingly similar to a flagpole. And I don't mean to be mean & pick on physical traits, but if any one human could look more like a rat than you, I'd really be shocked...if they tossed you in a hamster wheel & gave Wojo, Collins & Nate James lab coats on the sidelines, the Duke students would think they were just in biology class and not at a basketball game.

3) Social Lepers - I think this might be the part I actually take personally. Seriously, if the social aspect of college ever creeps into the UNC vs. Duke debate, this is the equivalent of Sam Perkins versus Clay Buckley. I know Matt Doherty had to rebuke the joke about the Duke cheerleaders, but I sure as hell don't. Heck, even Duke students would probably acknowledge that was accurate. But let's get down to business...how many of you out there have been out in Durham? And how many of you have been out in Chapel Hill? I'm sure it's changed a lot in the last 20 years since I was in school, but I can guarantee that Duke students still come to Chapel Hill to have a good time b/c it takes less time to drive to Chapel Hill than it does to walk from one side of Duke's campus to the other. Not to mention bars in Chapel Hill are equated with going out to meet friends, have drinks and socially interact with people...whereas at Duke, if you are fortunate enough to navigate Krzyzewskiville (which I won't even get started on), bars are generally associated with orange jumpsuits...

Perhaps that's why you bounce up & down all the time, find humor in a man in a speedo and get exposed every March?